Mmmmmm. I win. That whole thing about victory tasting sweet is so true. It really does. I can't possibly describe how good this feels. Unf!

Saturday I slept far too late. I had planned to go to Bubbapalooza with Michele and Shane, but things sort of got confused and too late and I ended up at Innovox. I had heard they were auctioning off some of the furniture and things. I was hoping to score the hotwheels computer I even had cash with me. Then I got there and saw that someone had loaded redhat with KDE on it. That made me desire it even more, when I saw that it definitely could run *nix AND KDE3. I had previously suspected some sort of obscure chipset with mystery drivers that wouldn't be *nix supported. However, to my dismay it turns out that they were not going to be selling the computers. Wah! That was very upsetting.

It was so nice to see everyone though. Daniel Vasquez was there, and I just LOVE him! He is wonderful. Full of sunshine and cuteness. I met his boyfriend and they make an adorable couple. I saw all of my favourite kids. Michele, Heidi, Julian, Butch, Andrew, Panurge. I met tons of new people too. Heh. There are photos coming soon. I will post them.

They had a sign up sheet for an auction. Basically, you sign up, get auctioned off to the highest bidder, and it helped make money for Innovox to pay it's bills. I hear that last week's was amazingly successful. I didn't sign up to be auctioned off, but I did sign up to be the auctioneer. How fun! I think I did an amazing job. I see a whole new career in store. I actually bid on and won someone. Of course I won - I was the auctioneer. I was too scared to even really talk to him afterward, and certainly wasn't going to make him do things for me or anything. He was straight and cute, all manly - and seemed even more manly amongst all the little gay boys. Plus he had a little german pin on his jacket, and I was wearing my glam fascist necklace, so it sort of matched or something. We talked for a bit, he seems nice.

Later Butch and Daniel, Anna, Billy and myself decided it was time to go swimming. Well - they thought it was time to go swimming. I thought it was time to put on a sweater. We went to the Sloan Square pool for a bit. After they realized how incredibly cold it was, they dried off and we ventured to the newly opened 'Disco Diner'. For those of you in Atlanta - its on North Avenue in the old IHOP. Its orange and pink and yellow. It was ok. Nothing spectacular. I had a great time gossiping with the kids. I miss clubbing followed by swimming and then breakfast. It was just like the 688 era. I think this trend will continue.

Michele is coming over after the Poison concert to spend the night. I don't think it will be too late, so call me or something if you want to get together and get into mischief.

I danced lots and lots last night, and I think that combined with the hardcore Crunch action earlier is why I am in super muscle pain. It so rocks. Love! Billy and I requested Tiffany's 'I think we're alone now' and Eric actually played it, to my surprise. We danced and Billy dipped me. Gosh he's good to dance with. Last night was fun++.

Tonight I'm not sure what is going on really, Michele should be here around midnight. And then people wanted to go to karma. I've got tons of people telling me there IS 80s tonight, and tons of people telling me there is NOT. So, who knows. Tomorrow I've got to take the precious canine to the vet, and go get a new battery in the car. Also, I will try to go to Chocolate City dodgeball league. Shane Russell said he was going to Bubbapalooza, and said I could go with him. Yea! Panny is supposed to be in town this weekend also. I'm hoping to see her around or meet up with her at some point.

One of the boys has infuriated me. He doesn't get it at all. The key to getting what you want lies in making every person feel as if they are the most important person. His attempts are weak. This is why he fails.

Also, I think I'm in a fight with morphine. He won't let me connect.

*New BSDiva battle cry - Adapt and Overcome.

*stolen from Austin of course.

I'm conflicted. Lip gloss, packet filtering. Matching shoes and purse, transparent konsole windows. Manicure emergency, OpenBSD disappointment. Its like nature is telling me not to do these things. Maybe there are so few people like me because we're a mistake. I believe in adaptation. I believe in survival of the fittest. Perhaps I am an anomaly that traditionally is destroyed by the surrounding mediocrity.

Does this reveal why I don't have a boyfriend and the white trash, lowest common denominators, like the lowbrow girls and geocities' darlings do? Austin says 'adapt and overcome.' Maybe I should assimilate and survive.

I laid in bed for an hour tonight reading the latest issue of Glamour magazine. It had all these articles about body image and how women view themselves. They had pictures of all these women, wearing black bathing suits. Women from size 0 to size 20. I still am shocked that there actually is a size 0. I have a friend who was a size 0 for a while.

I am disappointed in the way I look. I am disappointed in the things I know. I am disappointed in what I have accomplished, the things I have, the experiences I have had. Everything. I should be a genius. I should be beautiful. Why aren't I the example of effortless sendmail configuration with a 24 inch waist? I should understand bind perfectly and have thighs like Reese Witherspoon.

I think a high quality hottie such as myself should really be reserved for those guys who couldn't get a date to prom, but understand TCP/IP really well.

What is one -supposed- to do in a situation such as that?

Speaking of not having a job - I got an email from my former boss today asking me questions about Windows Networking. Sigh. Various friends gave advice. I sent her back an email saying that windows networking is a complex issue, and I would be happy to train her how to do the requested changes, or do them for her. Ending with 'What arrangement did you have in mind?' I'll do it for $100/hr if they want. That's what they paid the original contractors who never did any work and eventually ended up defaulting on the contract. Everyone I know has told me to do consulting and freelance work, I've done a bit, actually. We'll see. But seriously - I'm not going to sit there and write docs on how to admin a WindowsNT domain without compensation. No way.

Windows in the enterprise is a misleading thing. It looks easy enough, and many people make the mistake of saying 'well, gosh, it looks just like what I have at home, it must be the same thing.' Sigh. Its not. So, companies think things like this - dumb companies - and hand over their entire network's fate to a secretary. At the same time, there are MCSEs, big idiot men who originally were car mechanics, and foolishly think they have some kind of technological aptitude. They are universally hated, I think. Only the very very uninformed have reverence for the MCSE anymore. I respect the ability to pass tests the way I respect the university diploma. Wow, you have the discipline to suffer. That's cool. I suffered through my degree, and it really doesn't make me any smarter or more qualified than anyone else. I just have a proven record of living through pain. Which, to a lot of companies is impressive - as it should be.

So, it comes to this. And these are obviously my ideas, and you certainly don't have to agree with them. I know tons of genius computer geeks. Honestly, I know tons of them. My dad, my roommate, many of my friends. From Geoff Harrison to the Lug@GT kids, to the d0rk that taught me everything I know. The thing that they [and I hope in some ways, I] have in common is passion. The passion for solving problems and getting that personal satisfaction with just how fucking reet you are. It never seems to lose its charm. The innovators have that. The genuises have that. A guy who wants a fabulous new career in IT, and takes his MCSE - does not. The secretary that is taught to use BackOffice - does not. That idiot who writes propreitary art tracking software and attempted to run my linux bawx - does not.

We all have a special relationship with our macines. Wether it be love or hate or frustration or disgust - we feel something for them. I named my computers after the characters from my favourite tv show. I refer to them by their host name. Not 'my computer.' I anthropomorphize them. I refer to them as my boyfriend. I have a FreeBSD boyfriend, a Windows2000 boyfriend and an OpenBSD boyfriend - and I love them all. I'm being a bit verbose I guess. Clair told me once not to use -v. But I sort of like watching it all scroll by.

So, I suppose my point... hrm. My point is that I want to stay in networking. I like it and it makes me happy. I feel that I have a very unique enthusiasm for and relationship with those machines strung together with bits of colored cables. I'm not meant to be a secretary. I'm not meant to be a salesperson. I'm not even meant to be a web designer or a photographer. I think my strength lies in the joy of editing config files.

esc :wq!

He said: so i should feel special that you're so comfortable with me i guess
GirlVinyl: You should feel special because I love you
GirlVinyl: Remember?
He said: no i didnt but thanks for reminding me
He said: i need to be reminded often
He said: heh

There is something about these men who seek a certain kind of woman. I want to hurt them. I want to hit them. I want to make them see the err of their ways. My little heart has been ruined so many times, that I don't know passion. I don't know trust or love. I'm just scared.

The other night he said something about everyone thinking they are more lonely than everyone else. We'll kill each other in the end.

So, I was inspired tonight to switch my windowmanager over to the more mac-like KDE. Mmmm, is it ever nice. I sure do like it. I love window managers. I love non-MS guis in general. MS is so far behind in this department. There are so many slick, amazing, powerful window managing possibilities. MS is like a big clunky dinosaur. They need to get their act together. But honestly - after my time with Mac today, I see MS being pushed out. The power of unix, with the face of a mac? Unf! Success will follow, I'm sure.

I'm sleepy and my tummy hurts. I'm sick. Sigh. Pathetic little me. Anyway. Have a delicious screenshot, won't you?

Lastly, I was laid off last week. Yes, that's right - me. Its a long and comical story. Which is mostly of no consequence at the moment. If you are not interested in stalking me, but you ARE interested in giving me a job check out my resume.

I'm off to see The Faint tonight at the Echo Lounge. Looks to be quite the event here in Atlanta, as everyone will be there. I can feel the excitment.